Thursday, January 5, 2012

In Which We Fear the Tooth Fairy

Guess who lost his first tooth last weekend? 

 I came home from a walk (it was in the 40s here on New Year's Eve; how weird is that?) and discovered that the tooth had vanished without a trace.  We think it was removed by an apple fritter,* but the evidence--apart from one left over section with some incriminating pink spots on it-- had been eaten and there is no way to know for sure where the little pearly white went.

As soon as the first thrill of losing a tooth wore off, the questions began:

1. When will I get my present?
--Our tooth fairy doesn't give presents, s/he** usually  leaves money.
2. How much will I get?
--I think the going rate is a few bucks.
3. When will I get my money?
--The tooth fairy will leave it under your pillow. Usually you leave your tooth there and there's a trade, but since you don't have the tooth, you'll have to write a note explaining things.
4. Will I see the tooth fairy?
--No one here has ever seen the tooth fairy.  S/he doesn't come until you're asleep.

Silly me.  I forgot again.  Matty's official position is that he doesn't sleep.  He doesn't care for sleep.  It gives him nightmares.  Instead, he lies down at night and, regardless of the incontrovertible fact that he wakes up in the morning (and never reports any unsettling dreams), he will forever insist that he has not slept.  Which left him in a bit of a pickle.  Sleep and risk the onset of bad dreams, or stay awake and forfeit the hard, cold cash?

He chose to ignore both options and negotiate instead.

--Well, I don't know if you have to sleep. Maybe you could just close your eyes like usual.
--(Damn, he's figured that out.) Well, the tooth fairy can't come if s/he thinks you'll see her/him.  Couldn't you close your eyes a little bit?
3. (pause) NO!!!!!!!
--Well, do you ever see anything at night?
4. (sniff)  No.
--And what do you do all night?
5. (sniff) I'm just there.
--Maybe you could do that.  The same thing as always, just be there, and no looking for the tooth fairy.  O.K.?
6.  O.K.
7. (great big teary brown eyes) But can I sleep in your room?

And it worked.

No sleeping, no nightmares, no illegal tooth fairy sightings, and two dollars under the pillow.  

The tooth fairy even saved me the note:

It says, in essence:  "Dear Tooth fairy:  I lost my tooth and now I can't find my tooth and I wish I didn't lose my first tooth.  From Matthew"

He was too excited to put the money away, so he held it while he watched TV.

A little while later, he decided that no one was coming to take the money back and he agreed to 'deposit' it in the incredibly loud electronic ATM bank we mistakenly got him for Chanukah. The bank keeps track of your deposits, and Matty thought it was so much fun putting the two dollars in (it has one of those little slots that sucks up your bills, just like a vending machine) that he put them in a few more times for good measure and now the ATM thinks he has eight dollars instead of two. For the sake of the general public, I plan to steer him away from a career in finance.

In minor knitting news, I have decided to join another mystery knit along.  I wasn't too pleased with the results of the last one, but this KAL is being run by the woman who designed the Annis shawl/scarfy thing that I just finished and I think it will turn out better.  The new design will involve beads, which is a bit wild and crazy for me.  You can blame the bling on the shortage of daylight.

The pattern is written for two different finished sizes depending on whether you use lace or fingering weight yarn.  I happened to have the right amount of both weights and no capacity to make decisions, so I will be knitting two mystery shawls, because I'm stupid that way.

Bead shopping was an event unto itself.  I tend to knock things over, so I spent my time in the bead shop under great stress and moving veeerryy slloooowwwllyy to avoid any unintended disasters.

Here are the results:

I hope the KAL starts soon.  Now that I'm signed up, I'm tired of waiting for everyone else.

*The tooth-apple connection is an inherited trait.  I lost my first tooth in an apple and so did Nate.  Matty's dietary preferences do not currently include apples, so an apple fritter was the best substitute available.

**The tooth fairy remains a mysterious figure here.  Short, tall? Male, female? Magical or fictitious?  It's all hidden from us.  And what does s/he do with all the teeth? 

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