Monday, June 7, 2010

In Which A Whole Bunch of Stuff is Jammed into One Post

I. In which We Witness an Amazing True-Life Transformation

Imagine, if you will, a world in which this: 


becomes this:


And this:

becomes this:



What if it was possible to transform this unsightly alcove

into this Thing of Great Beauty?


And what if this ordinary set of "contractor's special"  steps

could someday grow up to be this . . .


complete with  Beauteous Rays of Light At No Extra Charge?

Maybe in such a world the people who created such fine works of art would also be willing to haul your old step to the fire pit to top El Husbando's rocks and make you this little bench:


(looks like a mini-Stonehenge, doesn't it?  The bunnies like it too.  We caught them hopping through the tunnel tonight.)

Ah, what a world!

II. In which I am Out of Work and Resort to House Cleaning

I finished a project on Thursday.  Usually when I do this, there is already another project waiting for my attention.  This is an annoying but very secure feeling:  the work is there (relentlessly), which is annoying, but then again, the work is there (as is the paycheck) which is good to know.  Right now, there is no work in my in box.  No one has  offered me work recently (this is actually a bald-faced lie:  work was offered, but retracted), and I do not  know when anyone will be offering work.  I am FREE.

It is really giving me the creeps.

I have a long list of projects that I am supposed to do now that I'm FREE.  I don't want to do too many of them, but without my regular work, I have no excuse for avoiding them.  The first thing I did on Friday-- after I parked myself on the patio to knit for  a while-- was clean out my office.  It was overrun with Matty's toys, but with no work in sight, there is no reason to clutter my very own personal space with Little People, or their barns, garages, cars, and ten thousand farm and zoo animals.  This led to more cleaning, which was very high on the list of Things that Must Get Done Before I Become a Screaming Lunatic, but even higher on the list of Things I Never Want to Do Again.  I would even have preferred to clean out my garden and repair the garden fence, but it rained non-stop on Sunday and there really was absolutely nothing else to do.  Even for a FREE person.

One benefit of going through two months of junk mail and school papers is that you find a few gems hidden in the mess. Like this classic Mother's Day poem from Isabel:

which -- in case you can't decipher the code-- reads:
Dear Mommy:
From bunnies to chicks you're nice.
Your kind is not easy to find.
From Earth to the Sun, you are number 1.
From Pluto to Mars, I love you up to the stars.
If cows talk about you, they would do so much more than just moo!
They would whisper in their cow-ish voices "Oh, that's the lady who made all the great choices.  I so wish she were mine!

And this letter, also from Isabel, which the local Tooth Fairy was kind enough to save for us:


To The toothfairy:
I lost a tooth, but then I lost it again (a.k.a. I can't find it!). So if you can please accept my note and give me my usual payment, I shall be very pleased.
Best to you,

It took me five hours of sorting through papers to get to this stuff, but it was worth every minute.

III. In which we Issue a Fashion Update

Style Guru Emma, in conjunction with the newest runway sensation, Supermodel Matty, offers a few fashion options for the truly trendy pre-schooler.  First up, the Shaggy Purple Toga.


Please note: walking while wearing this confection is neither recommended nor possible.  These are trained professionals; please do not try this dress at home.

And for those seeking the latest in head-wear, consider the Moderne Conehead Ski Cap:


The Giant Inverted Fleece Hat:


or, for those with European flair, The Purple Tweed Beret.


IV. In which We Find Yet Another Reason Why Children Should Not Use the Camera

It doesn't matter what I do, they still get hold of my camera.  And I end up with moody compositions like this:


also known as "Pink FlipFlop on the Shadow of My Heart."

And this striking bit of edible art, 


subtitled "Pretzel Bit Boat on the Back Seat of my Van."

Knitting news will have to wait for another day, especially as I'm tired and there hasn't been much progress on anything.  G'night!

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